after years of maladies in which no one could/would explain, i was diagnosed with both about 5 years ago. i was thankful that's all it was, celiac & crohn's. never mind the fact that both ends of the intestinal tract were under attack ~ it wasn't lethal, so i felt most fortunate. after all, one jest has to watch their diet..... right?
i became diligent in my pursuit of the gluten free, perused page after page after page of recipes in search fer edible goods. havin' never been one to eat "unhealthy", this disease caused much dismay. how'd i get it? what caused it? how does one "fix" it? the answer? they don't know, gluten and there's no cure. i did not feel deprived as i've never been much of a bread eater anyhow, but i still miss those darned Ritz crackers slathered with peanut butter! those who have this disease have learned by now that gluten free dough is most temperamental, hard to roll out and does not produce a "flaky" anythin'. i know, i've followed the recipes to a "t", thinkin' that somehow i'd messed up only to find pic's someone had posted of their "lovely, light biscuits" or crackers only to see that in their minds they perhaps had light & fluffy. the reality (pic's don't lie) was that they all look like lil dried out clumps of clay :( my pursuit continues on. i've met the challenge of a loaf of bread. have come up with a combination of flours that doesn't require the schtuff bein' frozen on the 2nd day. mine'll make it jest fine & be fresh 'n light fer 4 full days (in the fridge) before requirin' such a thing. i'm most tickled with myself. but, i still can't make a decent biscuit (aka: light & fluffy = falls apart, the others are jest dry & crumbly). i'm from deep southern roots, this is catastrophic indeed!
the latter, crohn's, seems like a truly simple fix. no risk of cross contamination (as one has to watch fer with the celiac), jest don't eat more than 14g of fat per day. (*note, this is the max that my body will tolerate, i believe all that suffer with this disease has their own threshold).
simple enough, right? i joined the various associations to stay informed. found myself lost in a sea of folks in support groups. we gripe, we complain, we console, we counsel. we swap medical horror stories, bash the doc's that are clueless and have become our own health advocates. we share our lab reports, analyze 'em, discuss options. recipes fly from one end of the earth to another, this extended "family" has saved my sanity!
then comes the realization that STRESS triggers both into ugly action. now, i live in denial when it comes to stress. have always been told "it's all in yer head". well, they were wrong, mine centers in my gut. i can deny it, ignore it, pretend it didn't happen and within 2 days i've taken up residence in the master bath yet again....
i've learned that it hurts other folks' feelin's to be the cause of yer stress. an odd response, perhaps. my tactic? "no, the thing that'cha did/or said didn't stress me out. my reaction to the thing that'cha did told my gut to be stressed." sure wouldn't want others to feel at fault, right? is there logical in this? no, but makes 'em feel less helpless i reckon.
it's become a familiar, yet viscous cycle. i am well. i keep purty active with the critters/house/property. i eat, i go to town, i take road trips, i live.
then i'm not. i have crash 'n burns, my "pet" name fer an "episode". i lose 10-20lbs in 3 days. i'm horribly ill. i talk to dead people. i have no muscle left. my blood pressure plummets (averages out to around 70/35 durin' these), i am finally so dehydrated that i can leave the confines of my bathroom that i make it to the doc's. they do blood tests, saddened by the results. white blood cell counts through the roof, kidneys tryin' to shut down, liver outta whack, etc. if i'm lucky & it was a "light" crash 'n burn, i leave with jest prescriptions fer steroids & cipro... when it's a heavy one, it's 2 shots of rocephin, 1 mega shot of steroids and both prescriptions. they've learned that i will NOT go into the hospital - period. i'm a strong-willed person on that matter. i recover.
and live goes on!
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